At the start of The Producers, Max Bialystock is romancing old ladies so that they give him money to produce his plays. After one old woman leaves his office he starts frantically searching through the dresser in which he keeps the pictures of his other "contributors". As he does so he keeps saying, "Hold me, touch me, hold me touch me". He finally finds the picture, sets it up on his desk just as there is a knock on the door. He opens it to a woman, probably in her late 70's or early 80's who immediately starts pining, "Oh Bialystock, hold me touch me, hold me, touch me". Massiel picked up the phrase and uses it to summon me to the bed, but only so that she can annoy me. I was reminded of the phrase again today as I entered the factory. There were 4 supervisors standing by the door as I came in. Having given thought to what I was going to write about today on the 25 minute ride to the factory (which is where I usually think about what I am going to write) I was all set to hit the computer and get started as soon as I clicked here-it's free.
I noticed a long time ago that this is a hand shaking country. I have always been more of a wave hello kind of guy. Here, someone will enter a room, or come upon someone he knows, but he is never content just to shake the hand of the people that he knows. He feels it would be rude not to touch all the hands that he can in greeting. I also came to the realization a long time ago that this is not a hand washing country. If at all possible I use public bathrooms only to pee. That's not only here. I have been afraid of public toilet seats all my life. The only public bathrooms that I use now are located in my factory or in one of the casinos that I go to. That's it. Once at a Poker tournament at Ocean World Casino, in Puerto Plata, I was in the john doing my business while a bunch of my cardplaying friends finished their business or started and finished their business (prostate problems, I take forever) There were 5 people I knew who I observed in my two trips. Not one used the sink. I told those people the next time I saw them at the Almirante casino that from now on I was only willing to fist pump hello. I have observed that virtually no one uses the sink to wash their hands after doing their business in the bathroom. While I was shaking the hands of the four people this morning I was wondering exactly how many penises I was actually touching by proxy. It kind of grossed me out. Immediately I went and washed my hands with soap and water.I didn't want you to feel dirty for reading this. I have to start wearing gloves in public.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment