Saturday, September 27, 2014

Funny, You Don't Look Jewish

I had a family come in today to buy a new car. I helped them choose the right car for them and they then had to work out the final deal with the Finance Manager. Unfortunately, they had to wait several hours to see him. While they were waiting I entertained them with some card tricks and a few stories. The little girl, Sarah, was adorable. She will be eight next week and was the best audience that I have had for a while. She kept asking if I were magic. I'm not quite sure what that meant, but I guess she thought that there was something magical about me. I knew that waiting all that time most have given them an appetite. I always keep snacks in my drawers, things like trail mix and popcorn, and sometimes brownies.  They are for me, but I never mind sharing them. I asked the mother if it would be OK to give the kids some and she said sure. I pulled out my snacks and offered to them, and the two kids were quite happy. Sarah started to eat the popcorn, turned to her mother and said, "You know, when I eat popcorn I always feel so Jewish. We all went crazy laughing.


Thursday, September 18, 2014

Where have I been, you ask?

That's for a later post.

This post should actually be entitled, "Tales from the Sales Floor", and I have a feeling that there will be more to follow that should have the same title, however for now I will just have to settle for this first post in a long time.

Car sales people, of which I am now one, have a well deserved reputation. For example a customer walked in today and I walked up to greet him. The customer said that he had bought two cars at this dealership from a salesmanager, who's name he didn't remember. He described him as a heavy set black man and since the managers here are all white, I explained to him that even though I was new, I was prettys sure that he didn't work here anymore. As I was saying this another salesman comes walking over, hears the conversation and when I ask him about the sales manager, he names him and then turns to the customer and says, "I remember you, we worked together before." The customer said, "No, I never saw you before". The other salesman asked, "You have a Jaguar don't you", as if to prove he remembered the customer. The customer said, "Yeah, I just drove up in it." Of course he did, how else would the other salesman know?

Wednesday, March 20, 2013


Hard To Fucking Believe

I am 68 years old. I don't feel 68 years old. I don't believe that I think or act as if I am 68 years old, but I am. Sometimes I am so in disbelief of my age that I take out my IPhone, go to the camera and reverse the view so that I can look at myself on the camera screen. It's still hard to believe.

Friday, March 15, 2013

It's Been A While, I Know

New favorite name...Hugh Jasol

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

The Russians Are Coming, The Russians Are Coming

My sense of smell has disappeared. It affects my sense of taste and that is why I like chocolate and other sweets so much. I can taste them. To be honest, I don't think that I have smelled one of my farts for the past 5 years, maybe more. When I take a dump it has to be something really special before I know about it.

Tonight there was a Russian player in the Poker Room who smelled so horribly that I could smell him. The players were made crazy by his foul odor. People kept moving to any open seat at his table to avoid having to sit next to him. As Juan, the regular Poker Room cashier once said, while surrounded by Russians, "Deodorant must be very expensive in Russia."