Conversations With My Beloved

#1

I am very sick. I am lying in bed moaning. Of course I always do that when I am any kind of sick. I am having trouble breathing and realize that even though Afrin has a negative side effect on my prostate, sometimes I really have to use it so that I can breath through my nose. When my nose gets very clogged and shuts down I can't sleep so I have to use it. Anyway, I am lying on the bed and I start looking for the Afrin and I go through the entire apartment, every closet and drawer, and can't find it, moaning and groaning the whole time, just to make sure Massiel knows how sick I am. I know that it is not yet 9:00 and the pharmacy across the street is probably still open. So I ask Massiel, "Do me a favor and look out the window and see if the lights are still on and the pharmacy is still open." She looks out our bedroom window (from which I know that you cannot see the pharmacy) and says,"There are no lights on, it must be closed." I drag myself to the balcony, from which you can see the pharmacy and of course the lights are on. I tell her that it is open, giving her the momentary opening to offer to go which of course she doesn't do. I drag my ass down, in my near death condition (I never just get very sick) and buy the Afrin by myself.

#2

It's 7:00 P.M. I am watching TV and Massiel is busy with the new love of her life, Facebook. She says my name. I ask what she wants and she doesn't answer. I ask her again. Again, no response. I ask one more time and when she again ignores me I say, "Do me a favor and don't say my name anymore." I know that this is a ploy she uses when she wants something. If she makes me ask a lot of times what it is that she wants, I think she feels less guilty in asking for it, as though I made her tell me.
She tells me that she needs nail polish remover from the pharmacy. I look out the same window she did and tell her that I can't see the lights so it must be closed and she tells me that it must be open because it closes at 9:00. I remind her of the events of a few nights ago when I needed the Afrin. I go down to buy her the nail polish remover.

#3

I am back from the pharmacy, and I figure what is good for the goose is good for the gander, so I say her name. She asks what I want and of course, I don't answer. She again asks what I want and again I don't answer. When she asks the third time, she is laughing because she realizes that I am doing to her what she always does to me. Finally, reluctantly, I tell her that by the time I got home today our housekeeper, Santa, was leaving. I had bought two melons so that Santa could make juice with them. As I walked up the stairs she was locking the door and I just didn't have the heart to ask her to turn around and go back in to make the juice. I tell her that I have no more juice and ask if she will make it. Her answer? "Santa will be here on Wednesday."