I had to retake some tests at the lab yesterday. When I was sick a couple of weeks ago my doctor ordered a whole bunch of tests. I did really poorly on those involving liver function. Now that I have completed the medicine that my doctor prescribed, she wanted to see how I did on those same tests. I got to the lab really early, hoping to avoid a long wait. That of course, is not possible. Once I got my insurance coverage verified and paid the difference I was allowed to enter the lab area. There were about 15 people ahead of me. Fortunately, the line moved pretty quickly. Almost everyone was only having blood workups. One or two people were also being asked to supply urine samples in a little screw top bottle. There was one guy who I noticed leaving the blood area and going to the bathroom with two cups. When he came out, I made the mistake of looking at his production.
Warning. Alert. Warning. If someone goes in with two bottles, look at the floor until you see their shoes leaving the lab.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
It's Official
They just announced the number of dead people whose names appear on the voting rolls. There are more than 26,000. I will bet that less than 15,000 of them vote this year.
There is a movement afoot here encouraging people to go to the polls and vote for NINGUNO (nobody). It's a great idea. If people start to realize that there are others as disenchanted with the bad choices they are given in every election, maybe they will start to come together to express their displeasure. That is how things change.
I loved watching the commercials for the candidates. They are off the air now because the JCE (Electoral Board) prohibits political activities two days before the election. They still permit bribing people to vote, and the above mentioned DPP (Dead People Party)activities, but commercials on TV and Radio are banned. Every commercial was the same. Vote for me. I am loyal. We must go forward, not backward. You should vote for me, since my party is going to win. We have solidarity. My party is the only good party. There's a party in my pants (Just kidding). I am honest. I believe in kissing old people. I must be the winner. Look at all the people I have been able to pay to walk with me, make a lot of noise, and act stupidly.
When I first came here in September of 1999 I was given a house to live in, by the owner of a large factory. The only restriction was that I could not be in the house on Friday afternoons because that was his hooker time, and the house was his hooker love nest. He was a very important official in the PRSC, at the time, the party of the President and the party to which you wanted to belong. After about a month living here, he asked me if I would be interested in going on an election caravan. This is basically a parade in support of a given political party. I said that I would love to go. The PRSC is the red party. Caravaning is the most popular form of campaigning. The candidate sits in an open car at the head of the caravan and it winds its way through the city or the countryside, or both. They never have to speak, just wave (and most of them can do that).There's lot's of yelling, lots of noise, and lots of cheering from the people on the sides of the road. It was really impressive to see so many supporters of the red party out to cheer on their candidate. It was an amazing show of dedication and loyalty to their preferred party. Every house we passed was bedecked in red, every house. Everyone was wearing red, waving red flags, doing anything they could to cheer on their candidate, and to let them know that they were solidly behind them. That way, if this guy should win, he should remember these fervent supporters and do something to repay the debt. The caravan started in Moca and went through the mountains all the way to the road that takes you to the beach in Sosua. Then we turned around and went back and the people were still there. It was an amazing show of support.
The next week I had a date, and we decided to go to the beach. The girl mentioned that she hoped that we didn't hit a lot of traffic because we were taking the same road to the beach as the caravan had taken the week before, and she had heard that there a caravan was scheduled for that day. We were lucky and left ahead of the caravan so that we made the trip in the normal amount of time. However, it was obvious that a caravan would soon be passing. Every house was bedecked in purple, with people standing outside wearing purple, wildly waving purple flags. What loyalty.
It's too bad this isn't a presidential election. They always bring out the best in the Dominicans. Since all power (ALL POWER) flows from the Presidency down, having your party in power as the president is very important. How can you fill your pockets if the others guys party decides who gets the money? The last Presidential election was in 2008. There were 3 major candidates. Leonel, the winner from the purple party (PLD), Vargas, a really angry looking guy representing the white party (PRD) and my favorite "Amable (friendly)" Castro, representing the red party (PRSC). Neither Leonel nor Vargas had a platform for which they stood. Only Amable had a program, and that was to support and help the poor people. Actually, if the poor people believed him, he would have won since the majority (70-80%) of the people are REALLY poor. His campaign appearances were quite simple. He went into a town, gave out $500 pesos (about $17US) cash, and a baby pig, to as many people as he had pigs and cash for. That's it. Brilliant. This year the government is giving out appliances to buy votes. The appliances are bought by the National Lottery Commission and then shipped to the PLD warehouses of the various candidates to remind the faithful why they should continue to vote for them.
Oh yeah, and the people still drive like shit.
There is a movement afoot here encouraging people to go to the polls and vote for NINGUNO (nobody). It's a great idea. If people start to realize that there are others as disenchanted with the bad choices they are given in every election, maybe they will start to come together to express their displeasure. That is how things change.
I loved watching the commercials for the candidates. They are off the air now because the JCE (Electoral Board) prohibits political activities two days before the election. They still permit bribing people to vote, and the above mentioned DPP (Dead People Party)activities, but commercials on TV and Radio are banned. Every commercial was the same. Vote for me. I am loyal. We must go forward, not backward. You should vote for me, since my party is going to win. We have solidarity. My party is the only good party. There's a party in my pants (Just kidding). I am honest. I believe in kissing old people. I must be the winner. Look at all the people I have been able to pay to walk with me, make a lot of noise, and act stupidly.
When I first came here in September of 1999 I was given a house to live in, by the owner of a large factory. The only restriction was that I could not be in the house on Friday afternoons because that was his hooker time, and the house was his hooker love nest. He was a very important official in the PRSC, at the time, the party of the President and the party to which you wanted to belong. After about a month living here, he asked me if I would be interested in going on an election caravan. This is basically a parade in support of a given political party. I said that I would love to go. The PRSC is the red party. Caravaning is the most popular form of campaigning. The candidate sits in an open car at the head of the caravan and it winds its way through the city or the countryside, or both. They never have to speak, just wave (and most of them can do that).There's lot's of yelling, lots of noise, and lots of cheering from the people on the sides of the road. It was really impressive to see so many supporters of the red party out to cheer on their candidate. It was an amazing show of dedication and loyalty to their preferred party. Every house we passed was bedecked in red, every house. Everyone was wearing red, waving red flags, doing anything they could to cheer on their candidate, and to let them know that they were solidly behind them. That way, if this guy should win, he should remember these fervent supporters and do something to repay the debt. The caravan started in Moca and went through the mountains all the way to the road that takes you to the beach in Sosua. Then we turned around and went back and the people were still there. It was an amazing show of support.
The next week I had a date, and we decided to go to the beach. The girl mentioned that she hoped that we didn't hit a lot of traffic because we were taking the same road to the beach as the caravan had taken the week before, and she had heard that there a caravan was scheduled for that day. We were lucky and left ahead of the caravan so that we made the trip in the normal amount of time. However, it was obvious that a caravan would soon be passing. Every house was bedecked in purple, with people standing outside wearing purple, wildly waving purple flags. What loyalty.
It's too bad this isn't a presidential election. They always bring out the best in the Dominicans. Since all power (ALL POWER) flows from the Presidency down, having your party in power as the president is very important. How can you fill your pockets if the others guys party decides who gets the money? The last Presidential election was in 2008. There were 3 major candidates. Leonel, the winner from the purple party (PLD), Vargas, a really angry looking guy representing the white party (PRD) and my favorite "Amable (friendly)" Castro, representing the red party (PRSC). Neither Leonel nor Vargas had a platform for which they stood. Only Amable had a program, and that was to support and help the poor people. Actually, if the poor people believed him, he would have won since the majority (70-80%) of the people are REALLY poor. His campaign appearances were quite simple. He went into a town, gave out $500 pesos (about $17US) cash, and a baby pig, to as many people as he had pigs and cash for. That's it. Brilliant. This year the government is giving out appliances to buy votes. The appliances are bought by the National Lottery Commission and then shipped to the PLD warehouses of the various candidates to remind the faithful why they should continue to vote for them.
Oh yeah, and the people still drive like shit.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
You Never Know How Badly You Felt Until You Feel Better
I came home from Haiti sicker than I ever imagined. I actually spent almost two full weeks feeling weak and listless and running a fever the whole time. I literally did not have the strength to get out of bed. I was probably sleeping 14 hours a day, minimum. And always with a fever between 100 and 102. I am better now and every time I think about how good I feel lately, I realize how really sick I was.
This Just In
Wait a minute. This just in:
Domnican political parties announce support from hamburger joints.
PLD - Burger King and Wimpy Burgers---Since all gov't announcements are BS, tie in with Home of the Whopper is a natural. And their borrowing program is definitely inspired by Wimpy.
PRD - McDonalds---Have it your way. At least that's what they'll tell you till they get into office. At which point they will have it THEIR way.
PRSC - White Castle---A formerly popular brand, however more noted for its holes than its substance.
Domnican political parties announce support from hamburger joints.
PLD - Burger King and Wimpy Burgers---Since all gov't announcements are BS, tie in with Home of the Whopper is a natural. And their borrowing program is definitely inspired by Wimpy.
PRD - McDonalds---Have it your way. At least that's what they'll tell you till they get into office. At which point they will have it THEIR way.
PRSC - White Castle---A formerly popular brand, however more noted for its holes than its substance.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Campaign Slogans
Since the only way to judge who to vote for, in the DR, is to look at their pictures, which are plastered all over the place, I was thinking of that instead of the "Change" slogans that are under every picture, something more honest might be more interesting.
Here are some suggestions:
Vote for me. I will steal less than my opponent.
Yes my Party is mostly thieves, bums, and crooks, but I am new at this.
50% of what I steal I will share with the voters, if you can prove you voted for me.
I have a small family. How many worthless relatives can I give high paying jobs?
I have never been in jail. Well, not for a political crime, anyway.
I will bring "junketing" to a new level.
I will not knock up any more minors. (One candidate knocked up two girls under 16)
I will accept narco dollars only when ABSOLUTELY necessary.
If he wins, you're fucked. If I win you are screwed. The choice is yours.
I will only sell my two new car tax exemptions to people who deserve to be seen driving around like royalty.
If the candidates really wanted to be honest, they could make this a really interesting campaign.
Here are some suggestions:
Vote for me. I will steal less than my opponent.
Yes my Party is mostly thieves, bums, and crooks, but I am new at this.
50% of what I steal I will share with the voters, if you can prove you voted for me.
I have a small family. How many worthless relatives can I give high paying jobs?
I have never been in jail. Well, not for a political crime, anyway.
I will bring "junketing" to a new level.
I will not knock up any more minors. (One candidate knocked up two girls under 16)
I will accept narco dollars only when ABSOLUTELY necessary.
If he wins, you're fucked. If I win you are screwed. The choice is yours.
I will only sell my two new car tax exemptions to people who deserve to be seen driving around like royalty.
If the candidates really wanted to be honest, they could make this a really interesting campaign.
The Polls
On May 16 the DR will have its next senatorial and congressional elections. Senators make over $40,000 per month, making them the highest paid in the world, and all elected officials have access to huge amounts of money which they can use as they see fit, with no accountability. Elections here are basically "beauty contests" because the only campaigning done is by putting up posters with the candidates pictures. These posters occupy every inch of public space. There are no discussions of issues, no conversation as to why the candidate should be elected. There is nothing else done for campaign purposes other than caravaning. In a caravan the candidate, usually accompanied by the President of his party, rides through the streets accompanied by a few party faithful, thousands of paid participants wildly waving colored flags, and blaring music. The idea is to convince the observers on the street that this is the person that is going to win. It is important that the public be convinced that they are seeing the winner.
Also, each party pays to have voter preference polls. These, somehow, always come out showing that the party that paid for the poll is going to win. The loser always argues that the Polls are wrong. Again, it is important that the public is convinced as to who the winner will be.
Why?
A cedula is the identity card given to all residents. They are also the card that is used to allow a citizen to vote. In a country where a huge percentage of the people sell their cedulas for $20 or $30 the seller wants to make sure that they are selling it the winner so that after they win, they can go and beg more favors, or at the least, a little more money.
Also, each party pays to have voter preference polls. These, somehow, always come out showing that the party that paid for the poll is going to win. The loser always argues that the Polls are wrong. Again, it is important that the public is convinced as to who the winner will be.
Why?
A cedula is the identity card given to all residents. They are also the card that is used to allow a citizen to vote. In a country where a huge percentage of the people sell their cedulas for $20 or $30 the seller wants to make sure that they are selling it the winner so that after they win, they can go and beg more favors, or at the least, a little more money.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Traditional Values
Want to spend 21 pesos on something and don't have exact change? No problem. Be prepared to recieve your change in either gum or mints.
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