Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Rita
It would be very easy to write more often about the idiots that I deal with on a regular basis. Normally, if I am dealing with a Dominican there is very little good to say about them. In fact, it is very hard to include people in a post who are normal, I deal with so few. For those reasons, I am delighted to write this post.
I noticed when I first came here that when traveling around I would see groups of women with children out together on weekends. I was struck by how often I saw this. It didn't take long before I realized that the reason behind this was that men here think nothing of having children and then abandoning the mother and the children. The responsibility becomes too much. It's easier to just get out. So they do. Of course, this puts an awesome responsibility on the mother, a responsibility with which, most of the time, they are not equipped to cope. They do the best they can, OR, they give up as well. They can't really just leave the kids so they do the next best thing. They give the children to their grandparents, again usually just the grandmother (the grandfather split a long time ago). Now the grandmother has the burden of raising her grandchildren. It wasn't enough that she raised her own kids, now the grandchildren become her responsibility as well. I would have to guess that usually this does not work out well. However, sometimes it works out great.
Rita is Massiel's grandmother (she still lives with her husband). Massiel's mom gave her to Rita to raise shortly after she was born. She took her back at age 7. She lived "with her mother" for four years. Well, actually she was being cared for by someone else, but they were in the same country for 4 years. Then Massiel came back to the DR and lived with her father for 2 years. Then it was back to Rita. Sometimes I make fun of Massiel, but she is really a wonderful person, maybe the nicest person that I have met in the DR. She is honest, smart, hardworking, and just really a good soul. (I am getting laid tonight,with or without this testimonial.) I believe that people's upbringing determine the type of adult that they become.
Massiel's aunt, somewhere along the way, decided that raising her three kids was too much for her. She dumped them on Rita, as well. The boy, Jose, has moved out of the house and is working. He is a very sweet young man. The two girls, Jessica and Kiara are amazing. They are as good as you could ever hope children would be. One is 12 and the other 14. They often come to our house to sleep. When they do, as soon as they enter the door, they take out their books and start doing their homework. They work hard. They have become wonderful students and share all of the qualities that I find so appealing in Massiel. I believe that they are as they are because of Rita.
Tonight, Mother's Day, we took Rita out for dinner, a small and woefully inadequate show of appreciation to a really wonderful woman.
I noticed when I first came here that when traveling around I would see groups of women with children out together on weekends. I was struck by how often I saw this. It didn't take long before I realized that the reason behind this was that men here think nothing of having children and then abandoning the mother and the children. The responsibility becomes too much. It's easier to just get out. So they do. Of course, this puts an awesome responsibility on the mother, a responsibility with which, most of the time, they are not equipped to cope. They do the best they can, OR, they give up as well. They can't really just leave the kids so they do the next best thing. They give the children to their grandparents, again usually just the grandmother (the grandfather split a long time ago). Now the grandmother has the burden of raising her grandchildren. It wasn't enough that she raised her own kids, now the grandchildren become her responsibility as well. I would have to guess that usually this does not work out well. However, sometimes it works out great.
Rita is Massiel's grandmother (she still lives with her husband). Massiel's mom gave her to Rita to raise shortly after she was born. She took her back at age 7. She lived "with her mother" for four years. Well, actually she was being cared for by someone else, but they were in the same country for 4 years. Then Massiel came back to the DR and lived with her father for 2 years. Then it was back to Rita. Sometimes I make fun of Massiel, but she is really a wonderful person, maybe the nicest person that I have met in the DR. She is honest, smart, hardworking, and just really a good soul. (I am getting laid tonight,with or without this testimonial.) I believe that people's upbringing determine the type of adult that they become.
Massiel's aunt, somewhere along the way, decided that raising her three kids was too much for her. She dumped them on Rita, as well. The boy, Jose, has moved out of the house and is working. He is a very sweet young man. The two girls, Jessica and Kiara are amazing. They are as good as you could ever hope children would be. One is 12 and the other 14. They often come to our house to sleep. When they do, as soon as they enter the door, they take out their books and start doing their homework. They work hard. They have become wonderful students and share all of the qualities that I find so appealing in Massiel. I believe that they are as they are because of Rita.
Tonight, Mother's Day, we took Rita out for dinner, a small and woefully inadequate show of appreciation to a really wonderful woman.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
A $449.95 (That's US Dollars) Toilet Seat
I hope I have never let anyone down by referring them to a website that they didn't find entertaining. I know I am not going to hear any disappointment from anyone about:
http://sandman.com/intimst.html
If you shit or piss, this is a must see website. You must watch the 5 minute video.
YOU MUST!!!
http://sandman.com/intimst.html
If you shit or piss, this is a must see website. You must watch the 5 minute video.
YOU MUST!!!
Defensive Eating
Defensive eating is something that most of us do, but few ever realize that we are doing it.
I love to eat. Even though I am in the DR, where the food choices are often limited, I make sure that I always have stuff to eat that I really like in the house or with me. It doesn't have to be anything fancy. It could be as simple as Fitness Corn Flakes or a chocolate bar, but be assured, there is always something that I really like in the kitchen or in my possession. When I first started dating Massiel she had the best body of any woman I had ever been with, and maybe ever seen. After we were dating for about 6 months I realized, and mentioned to her, that she had started to "put on a few". Turns out that she enjoys eating more than I do. Unfortunately for me, she enjoys everything that I like. It took a while until I realized that stuff that I was hoarding, to eat at the appropriate time, was missing. It didn't take too long to figure out where it was going. The cats, not having opposable thumbs, can't open the closets or the refrigerator. It couldn't be them. That eliminated all possible suspects with the exception of Massiel. After a while I realized that if there was something that I really wanted to eat, I had two choices. I could hide it or I could eat it. Hiding food seems like kind of shitty thing to do. I have always told our cleaning lady, or any guest sleeping over that anything that was in the house was their's to eat if they wanted to. This eventually led to never inviting one friend to never stay over because she took this too literally. But how could I hide food that I wanted from my wife? The answer is that I can't so I came to the conclusion that if I wanted to eat something, I had to do it right away. To leave it was to make it fair game, and the disappointment of it not being there when I wanted it wasn't worth it. So I started to finish food that I might not normally finish, so that I could be sure that I would be the one eating it. That is defensive eating. I told my daughter about the concept of Defensive Eating (eating something to insure that you are the one who gets to eat it) a couple of months ago and she thought it was kind of a silly idea. I spoke with her last night and mentioned that once again I had done it. I told her that the night before I had opened a Mas Y Mas chocolate bar. This is a chocolate bar that has raisins and peanuts. I am a chocoholic and have identified this as the best chocolate bar made here in the DR. It breaks into five pieces. I was at the computer reading something and I put two pieces in my mouth. Massiel saw me eating this and asked me for a piece, which I of course gave to her. As I did this, of course, I quickly come to the realization that she was going to want more, but hey, I wanted it. So, to avoid a problem, I quickly slipped the two remaining pieces in my mouth, even though I hadn't finished the first two. Sure enough, a minute later Massiel asks for another piece, and I had to say, "I'm sorry, but there is no more". YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Defensive eating strikes again. After I told my daughter this story she confessed to me that now that she was aware that it existed, what had seemed like a really silly concept, was actually something that she often found herself doing, she had just never given it a name.
I love to eat. Even though I am in the DR, where the food choices are often limited, I make sure that I always have stuff to eat that I really like in the house or with me. It doesn't have to be anything fancy. It could be as simple as Fitness Corn Flakes or a chocolate bar, but be assured, there is always something that I really like in the kitchen or in my possession. When I first started dating Massiel she had the best body of any woman I had ever been with, and maybe ever seen. After we were dating for about 6 months I realized, and mentioned to her, that she had started to "put on a few". Turns out that she enjoys eating more than I do. Unfortunately for me, she enjoys everything that I like. It took a while until I realized that stuff that I was hoarding, to eat at the appropriate time, was missing. It didn't take too long to figure out where it was going. The cats, not having opposable thumbs, can't open the closets or the refrigerator. It couldn't be them. That eliminated all possible suspects with the exception of Massiel. After a while I realized that if there was something that I really wanted to eat, I had two choices. I could hide it or I could eat it. Hiding food seems like kind of shitty thing to do. I have always told our cleaning lady, or any guest sleeping over that anything that was in the house was their's to eat if they wanted to. This eventually led to never inviting one friend to never stay over because she took this too literally. But how could I hide food that I wanted from my wife? The answer is that I can't so I came to the conclusion that if I wanted to eat something, I had to do it right away. To leave it was to make it fair game, and the disappointment of it not being there when I wanted it wasn't worth it. So I started to finish food that I might not normally finish, so that I could be sure that I would be the one eating it. That is defensive eating. I told my daughter about the concept of Defensive Eating (eating something to insure that you are the one who gets to eat it) a couple of months ago and she thought it was kind of a silly idea. I spoke with her last night and mentioned that once again I had done it. I told her that the night before I had opened a Mas Y Mas chocolate bar. This is a chocolate bar that has raisins and peanuts. I am a chocoholic and have identified this as the best chocolate bar made here in the DR. It breaks into five pieces. I was at the computer reading something and I put two pieces in my mouth. Massiel saw me eating this and asked me for a piece, which I of course gave to her. As I did this, of course, I quickly come to the realization that she was going to want more, but hey, I wanted it. So, to avoid a problem, I quickly slipped the two remaining pieces in my mouth, even though I hadn't finished the first two. Sure enough, a minute later Massiel asks for another piece, and I had to say, "I'm sorry, but there is no more". YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Defensive eating strikes again. After I told my daughter this story she confessed to me that now that she was aware that it existed, what had seemed like a really silly concept, was actually something that she often found herself doing, she had just never given it a name.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Finnicky Eaters
We have two cats, Harry and QD. QD is very friendly and loving, always craving attention and affection. Harry, is exactly the opposite. He is not only not very friendly but he is also very shy. He rarely comes out of his two comfort locations. The only time they both act the same is when it comes to food. In the morning I clean out their litter, put out fresh water, and refill their food plate. They share the hard food. I buy Purina Feline Favorites food. Purina comes in several other flavors, but "the boys" as we call them have rejected the other tastes. Cats are known to be very finnicky eaters and certainly our two are no exceptions. They have taken being picky to a new level. For a long time, as a treat I have bought them tuna fish in cans. It started when I noticed a sale on canned tuna for around 24 pesos. To put that in perspective, a can of Bumble Bee Albacore tuna is around 135 pesos. For 24 pesos you get tuna that is kind of like pulled pieces that are not in any way solid. The tuna sits in water. They loved it. I used to put all the tuna on one plate and then I realized that QD was bullying Harry and forcing him to leave the plate until he was finished. So I started to put out separate plates. I put one on either side of the water bottle we keep on the floor in the kitchen. Then one day at Pola I saw a chunky style of tuna on sale for 35 pesos. It was real tuna meat. This was their house brand and this too was packed in water. I bought a couple of cans. When I put it out the boys were in heaven. When these were gone I went back to the cheaper tuna. THEY BOYCOTTED IT. They refused to eat it. The next time I saw the chunk tuna on sale was at Nacional. It was a different brand. They both loved it. When that ran out I again bought the Pola house brand. QD refused to eat it. That was all I had so Harry ate plenty and QD ate only the dry food. Harry now will not eat the Nacional brand, QD won't eat the Pola brand, so when I give them tuna I have to make sure that I have both brands. That's amazing.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
The Jimmy Legs Convention
During many episodes of "Seinfeld" reference is made to something called "The Jimmy Legs". I think that Kramer was the first to mention it in an episode. He was referring to the condition that some people have that causes their legs to twitch, most notably in the bed. I am sure that most people have been sitting somewhere when suddenly they became aware of the floor shaking. This is a version of the Jimmy Legs. This is someone forcing their leg to bounce up and down voluntarily. This is a habit. I believe it is something that people who are not really capable of thinking do in order to occupy their minds. They have to concentrate to do it and it alleviates the need to think.
When I first got sick a couple of weeks ago I went to see my doctor and had 7 people waiting ahead of me. Doctors here don't work by appointment as they do in most countries. That is because Dominicans have no respect for each other and never show up anywhere on time, least of all at a doctors office. During my years working here I have been invited to, or planned, many meetings. I am the originator of the expression, "What time will the 4:00 P.M meeting start?" There's a valid reason behind the question. I recently was invited, with my wife, to dinner. We were supposed to meet at 7:00. My friend and his wife were there waiting when we showed up at 6:50. The next person showed up at 8:15 and the last couple showed up at 8:30, and thought nothing of it.
Anyway, I was waiting for the doctor. I was really sick. I was weak. I was dizzy. I was really in bad shape. A guy came and sat down next to me. He immediately started shaking his hands. At first I thought he had some sort of palsy. Then he stopped and relaxed for a couple of minutes. Then he started jiggling his legs. I was starting to get nauseous. The constant motion was killing me. I moved so that he was out of my view. Unfortunately I moved opposite another guy who had the Jimmy Legs. I sat there a little while and again started to feel that I was going to puke. I moved again. I know its hard to believe but I was now face to face with a Jimmy Legs woman. That was it. I couldn't take it any more. I told the Doctor's receptionist that in case she couldn't find me I would be around the corner, out of her sight, sitting where there was no one else. I have come to realize, since that day that The Jimmy Legs is a common malady here. I am sure it is an alternative to thinking. It seems to be working.
When I first got sick a couple of weeks ago I went to see my doctor and had 7 people waiting ahead of me. Doctors here don't work by appointment as they do in most countries. That is because Dominicans have no respect for each other and never show up anywhere on time, least of all at a doctors office. During my years working here I have been invited to, or planned, many meetings. I am the originator of the expression, "What time will the 4:00 P.M meeting start?" There's a valid reason behind the question. I recently was invited, with my wife, to dinner. We were supposed to meet at 7:00. My friend and his wife were there waiting when we showed up at 6:50. The next person showed up at 8:15 and the last couple showed up at 8:30, and thought nothing of it.
Anyway, I was waiting for the doctor. I was really sick. I was weak. I was dizzy. I was really in bad shape. A guy came and sat down next to me. He immediately started shaking his hands. At first I thought he had some sort of palsy. Then he stopped and relaxed for a couple of minutes. Then he started jiggling his legs. I was starting to get nauseous. The constant motion was killing me. I moved so that he was out of my view. Unfortunately I moved opposite another guy who had the Jimmy Legs. I sat there a little while and again started to feel that I was going to puke. I moved again. I know its hard to believe but I was now face to face with a Jimmy Legs woman. That was it. I couldn't take it any more. I told the Doctor's receptionist that in case she couldn't find me I would be around the corner, out of her sight, sitting where there was no one else. I have come to realize, since that day that The Jimmy Legs is a common malady here. I am sure it is an alternative to thinking. It seems to be working.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
No. Or No Se
I came here more than 10 years ago and almost immediately started living in Santiago. At that time there was only one decent casino, The Gran Almirante. It was big, well lit, and nicely decorated. From the get go, however, there was something about it that bothered me. I commented on it probably within the first ten times that I went in there, maybe sooner. It didn't take long to realize that every request, whether reasonable, rational, or fair, was always met with the same speedy, unthoughtout response....NO. It didn't take long before I started to refer to this casino as Casino NO. Whatever I wanted. No. And it wasn't just me. It seemed as though everybody that I ever heard make a request was greeted with the same answer. Often the answer came out before the question was completed.
Having now spent 10 years here, I have come to realize that this speed No answer is not just confined to this casino. Go to any store, ask any clerk a question. The answer is always no. Start a sentence with "Do you, or May I" and usually before the sentence is finished the NO is delivered. There is nothing that a Dominican would rather tell you than NO.
The only thing close to it is NO Se(I don't know). You could be asking someones age, if the sun is out, or if the person is breathing. 90%of the time you will get a quick, "No se". It's as if not knowing and telling someone quickly is a good as knowing the information requested. I said in a meeting once that in this country, having a good excuse for doing something poorly is the same as doing it right.
Having now spent 10 years here, I have come to realize that this speed No answer is not just confined to this casino. Go to any store, ask any clerk a question. The answer is always no. Start a sentence with "Do you, or May I" and usually before the sentence is finished the NO is delivered. There is nothing that a Dominican would rather tell you than NO.
The only thing close to it is NO Se(I don't know). You could be asking someones age, if the sun is out, or if the person is breathing. 90%of the time you will get a quick, "No se". It's as if not knowing and telling someone quickly is a good as knowing the information requested. I said in a meeting once that in this country, having a good excuse for doing something poorly is the same as doing it right.
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