Things That Don't Work Any More and Things That Never Did

I have suffered from allergy problems for many years. I am not sure that my problem is actually an allergy. My symptoms are an inability to breath while I am sleeping. What actually happens is that one side of my nose closes up. I think it is something caused by coke abuse 30 years ago. The symptoms are reminiscent of the problems I used to have back then. For the past 9 months, or so, I have also pretty much lost my sense of smell. That sucks. I can deal with the nasal spray, claritin and other assorted remedies that I am forced to endure to keep my nose functioning at night, but there is nothing that I have found that gives me back this sense. Losing your sense of smell also affects your ability to taste. If a flavor is not strong, I sometimes don't get it. Sweet things suchs as sugar and chocolate are no problem, but I know that there are many subtle tastes that I am missing. And what about aromas? Gone. What is the pleasure in farting after eating spicey food or taking a really horrific dump if you can't fully appreciate it? I'm sorry but the visual just doesn't make it without the smell. Now put them together and you have something. What fun is a "dutch oven" if only your partner gets it? You want to know how much they are suffering and without the odor, well..........

Brought my car into the dealer about 5 weeks ago because as I was driving around the noise that the car makes to remind you to fasten the seat belt would start to chime, usually after driving for about 15 minutes. I would disconnect my seat belt and then reconnect it, or try using my directional in an effort to get it to stop, but it would stop when it felt like it. The guy helping me at the Hyundai dealer took the car into the shop, then they drove it around a little. After a consultation with the mechanic, he told me that the whatcha mahujji was broken and fixing it would cost $5000 pesos ( about $150). I didn't have the cash so I told him that I would come back the following Monday. Good thing I didn't have enough money to pay on the spot. I drove the car out and never heard the noise again.

The ceiling in my bathroom was leaking about 8 months ago so we called the plumber that the owner of the apartment uses. He opened the ceiling, fixed something and the problem went away. Two weeks ago the leak started again. Again we called him, but he came when only the housekeeper was home. He told her that this time there was nothing that he could do and that we should contact the people upstairs as the leak was caused by them. He left and took the leak with him.

Good Thing No One Around Here Speaks English

Thinking Ahead

I guess this was funnier when I took the picture.

I was reviewing some of my old posts as I played in an online tournament (I am still in the tournament). I do things early on in a poker tournament to occupy my time. If I sit there and watch the tournament without any distraction I find that I get bored and look for action with hands that I otherwise would not play. I play Free Cell, Hearts, and Minesweeper, all in an effort to keep myself patient. Once in a while, like now, I will post something just to pass time. While reading old posts, I came across one dated March, 26th. It was a story about my time at the Playboy Club. I attached a photo of a 10 ounce glass with a little tiny bit of milk in it. It is completely unrelated to the post and I said that I would explain it at a later date:


I love Jello Fat Free Chocolate Pudding. I love it with cut up bananas in it. Whenever I finish a bowl I immediately make a new one so that I am never without. I never drink milk, however the pudding requires two cups of milk. I always make sure when I go shopping to buy milk. Massiel loves milk. She drinks it all the time. I have always asked that if she uses the last of anything to please let me know. Well when I went to make more pudding, that was all the milk I found.

Words? I Don't Need No Stinkin Words

The sign says, "DANGER
Please don't play with the Machetes." DUH!!


And please check out the driver side door.

Hey, Joan Rivers:

Your face is melting. As well it should.


The rest of the story: http://wickedchopspoker.blogs.com/my_weblog/2009/05/celebrity-apprentice-annie-duke-loses-to-joan-rivers.html#comments

This is the second consecutive referral to Wicked Chops. Sorry. I had written a long rambling post about the inequities of the show and after posting it I read this post and was so impressed that I deleted mine. I figured why bore anyone with some long, rambling entry, when these guys did it so much better.

Wish I'd Written That

From Wicked Chops Poker:

If there's one thing we've learned from the Celebrity Apprentice, it's that Annie Duke gives good head Annie Duke is a whore pit viper Annie Duke is Hitler Joan Rivers' face is about to fall off being married to Joan Rivers would deduct about 20 years off your life Melissa Rivers is a 40 year-old baby Clint Black is creepy with squinty beedy little eyes Herschal Walker still fucking rules go DAWGS fuck yeah Jesse James reminds us of Sling Blade poker players are an extremely philanthropic bunch.

From the New York Times:

One of the problems with aging, amongst the many, is that you are doing more things for the last time than you are doing for the first time.

I Am A Pacifist. Really

I really am. I know that "Get In the Ring" gets my heart pumping but I really don’t believe in fighting, and I don’t believe in violence. That said however, I am sitting in my apartment, it is 12:58 in the morning and I am a fucking prisoner. There is a liquor store across the street from where I live and on the first Saturday of every month the cocksucker that owns the store has a “party”. This means that he has a band, or should I just say a group of no talent mother fuckers, that play bachata and merenque tipico. The speakers are at a volume suitable for a stadium with 50,000 people in it. For those of you who don’t know, meringue tipico means music for imbeciles. It is usually the same two or three chords played over and over again, ad nauseum, with lyrics to match. For example, the lyrics might be, I’m hungry and I want to eat, I’m hungry and I want to eat, I’m hungry and I want to eat, I’m hungry and I want to eat. The lyrics to all these songs really should be, “I’m an idiot and I can’t remember more than 6 words to a song, I’m an idiot and I can’t remember more than 6 words to a song”, but they try as best they can to disguise their stupidity. This “party”, which is attended by a hugely male clientele, starts at about 8:30 and continues until 2:00 in the morning. The crowd starts to dissapate after 12:30 but the volume stays up. Did I mention how fucking loud it is. It is very fucking loud. The musicians are awful and their voices are worse. However, it is a party, so party on dude. I don’t know how I have thus far resisted the temptation, but I know, or more accurately I fear, that in the not too distant future, I will drive my car at full speed into the crowd that attends this wonderful fiesta. I will, of course, only be willing to do this if I can be sure that I kill the nasty motherfucker who owns the store.