I'm watching the movie Grown Ups. There's a scene involving a little girl losing her tooth.
Her mother, without realizing it, lets on that there is no tooth fairy. The Spanish translatio for tooth fairy was El Raton Perez. El Raton Perez? Perez the Rat?
That's fucked up!!!!!
Even better:
I just showed this post to Massiel and she told me that until I told her the name she remembered that when she lost a tooth before she would go to sleep she would say, "Ratoncito, Ratoncito, aqui te dejo mi diente para que me des uno nuevo.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Life In Modern Times
It's really difficult sometimes to live in a world where technology has passed you by. I am pretty good with some things, but others leave me bewildered. It's like my car. I know how to get in, lock the doors, turn on the ignition and drive. That's it. I know how to find websites on my computer. Look, I found this place didn't I? But I really only know how to drive the computer, nothing else.
Massiel brought back an IPad from New York on Tuesday. Wednesday we went to turn in our old phones because our plan allows us to change phones yearly for next to nothin. I got what I always wanted, an IPhone. In order to enable it you have to download this, install that and I have no clue how to do these things. Even the tutorials leave me lost. I have the phone now for 24 hours and I can make calls and that's it.
I just walked into the bedroom and said, "I hate to be computer stupid". Massiel asked, "What do you mean you hate to be computer?"
Massiel brought back an IPad from New York on Tuesday. Wednesday we went to turn in our old phones because our plan allows us to change phones yearly for next to nothin. I got what I always wanted, an IPhone. In order to enable it you have to download this, install that and I have no clue how to do these things. Even the tutorials leave me lost. I have the phone now for 24 hours and I can make calls and that's it.
I just walked into the bedroom and said, "I hate to be computer stupid". Massiel asked, "What do you mean you hate to be computer?"
Friday, August 12, 2011
A Life Influenced Too Strongly By "Seinfeld"
Went to a luncheon today. Sat next to someone with an advanced case of " The Jimmy Legs". At first I thought it was a motor under the floor where I was sitting. Then I realized what it was.
The same person showed me something new which was actually a great idea. Again from a Seinfeld episode where George is confronted by someone at a funeral for "double dipping"; that is, taking a chip, putting it in the dip, biting off the part that has salsa on it and then putting the rest of the chip back in the dip. Kind of disgusting if you think about it, even though you see it happen all the time. The new method which works especially well if the salsa/dip has pieces of something (tomatoes in salsa, cheese in olive oil, etc.) that you want to get in your mouth. This is brilliant in its simplicity but really effective. Just take the piece of bread, chip, or whatever, and break it into two parts. Put one in each hand, put both pieces in the dip and push them towards each other. Voila!!!, a full chip.
The same person showed me something new which was actually a great idea. Again from a Seinfeld episode where George is confronted by someone at a funeral for "double dipping"; that is, taking a chip, putting it in the dip, biting off the part that has salsa on it and then putting the rest of the chip back in the dip. Kind of disgusting if you think about it, even though you see it happen all the time. The new method which works especially well if the salsa/dip has pieces of something (tomatoes in salsa, cheese in olive oil, etc.) that you want to get in your mouth. This is brilliant in its simplicity but really effective. Just take the piece of bread, chip, or whatever, and break it into two parts. Put one in each hand, put both pieces in the dip and push them towards each other. Voila!!!, a full chip.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Why Should I Be The Only One To Cry?
Op-Ed Columnist
Rachel’s Last Fund-RaiserBy NICHOLAS D. KRISTOF
Published: August 10, 2011
Perhaps every generation of geezers since Adam and Eve has whined about young people, and today is no different. Isn’t it clear that in contrast to our glorious selves, kids these days are self-absorbed Facebook junkies just a pixel deep?
No, actually that’s wrong at every level. This has been a depressing time to watch today’s “adults,” whose talent for self-absorption and political paralysis makes it difficult to solve big problems. But many young people haven’t yet learned to be cynical. They believe, in a wonderfully earnest way, in creating a better world.
In the midst of this grim summer, my faith in humanity has been restored by the saga of Rachel Beckwith. She could teach my generation a great deal about maturity and unselfishness — even though she’s just 9 years old, or was when she died on July 23.
Rachel lived outside Seattle and early on showed a desire to give back. At age 5, she learned at school about an organization called Locks of Love, which uses hair donations to make wigs for children who have lost their own hair because of cancer or other diseases. Rachel then asked to have her long hair shorn off and sent to Locks of Love.
“She said she wanted to help the cancer kids,” her mother, Samantha Paul, told me. After the haircut, Rachel announced that she would grow her hair long again and donate it again after a few years to Locks of Love. And that’s what she did.
Then when she was 8 years old, her church began raising money to build wells in Africa through an organization called charity:water. Rachel was aghast when she learned that other children had no clean water, so she asked to skip having a ninth birthday party. In lieu of presents, she asked her friends to donate $9 each to charity:water for water projects in Africa.
Rachel’s ninth birthday was on June 12, and she had set up a birthday page on the charity:water Web site with a target of $300. Alas, Rachel was able to raise only $220 — which had left her just a bit disappointed.
Then, on July 20, as Rachel was riding with her family on the highway, two trucks collided and created a 13-car pileup. Rachel’s car was hit by one of the trucks, and although the rest of her family was unhurt, Rachel was left critically injured.
Church members and friends, seeking some way of showing support, began donating on Rachel’s birthday page — charitywater.org/Rachel — and donations surged past her $300 goal, and kept mounting. As family and friends gathered around Rachel’s bedside, they were able to tell her — even not knowing whether she couldn’t hear them — that she had exceeded the $47,544 that the singer Justin Bieber had raised for charity:water on his 17th birthday.
“I think she secretly had a crush on him, but she would never admit it,” her mom said. “I think she would have been ecstatic.”
When it was clear that Rachel would never regain consciousness, the family decided to remove life support. Her parents donated her hair a final time to Locks of Love, and her organs to other children. Word spread about Rachel’s last fund-raiser.
Contributions poured in, often in $9 increments, although one 5-year-old girl sent in the savings in her piggy bank of $2.27. The total donations soon topped $100,000, then $300,000. Like others, I was moved and donated. As I write this, more than $850,000 has been raised from all over the world, including donations from Africans awed by a little American girl who cared about their continent.
“What has been so inspiring about Rachel is that she has taught the adults,” said Scott Harrison, the founder of charity:water. “Adults are humbled by the unselfishness of this little girl.”
Yet this is a story not just of one girl, but of a generation of young people working creatively to make this a better world. Mr. Harrison is emblematic of these young people. Now 35, he established charity:water when he was 30, and it has taken off partly because of his mastery at social media. (He’s not as experienced in well-drilling, so the wells are actually dug by expert groups like International Rescue Committee.)
Youth activism has a long history, but this ethos of public service is on the ascendant today — and today’s kids don’t just protest against injustices, as my contemporaries did, but many are also remarkable problem-solvers.
As for Ms. Paul, she’s planning a trip on the anniversary of her daughter’s death next year to see some of the wells being drilled in Africa in her daughter’s name. “It’ll be overwhelming to see Rachel’s wells,” she said, “to see what my 9-year-old daughter has done for people all over the world, to meet the people she has touched.”
Rachel Beckwith, R.I.P., and may our generation learn from yours.
•
Rachel’s Last Fund-RaiserBy NICHOLAS D. KRISTOF
Published: August 10, 2011
Perhaps every generation of geezers since Adam and Eve has whined about young people, and today is no different. Isn’t it clear that in contrast to our glorious selves, kids these days are self-absorbed Facebook junkies just a pixel deep?
No, actually that’s wrong at every level. This has been a depressing time to watch today’s “adults,” whose talent for self-absorption and political paralysis makes it difficult to solve big problems. But many young people haven’t yet learned to be cynical. They believe, in a wonderfully earnest way, in creating a better world.
In the midst of this grim summer, my faith in humanity has been restored by the saga of Rachel Beckwith. She could teach my generation a great deal about maturity and unselfishness — even though she’s just 9 years old, or was when she died on July 23.
Rachel lived outside Seattle and early on showed a desire to give back. At age 5, she learned at school about an organization called Locks of Love, which uses hair donations to make wigs for children who have lost their own hair because of cancer or other diseases. Rachel then asked to have her long hair shorn off and sent to Locks of Love.
“She said she wanted to help the cancer kids,” her mother, Samantha Paul, told me. After the haircut, Rachel announced that she would grow her hair long again and donate it again after a few years to Locks of Love. And that’s what she did.
Then when she was 8 years old, her church began raising money to build wells in Africa through an organization called charity:water. Rachel was aghast when she learned that other children had no clean water, so she asked to skip having a ninth birthday party. In lieu of presents, she asked her friends to donate $9 each to charity:water for water projects in Africa.
Rachel’s ninth birthday was on June 12, and she had set up a birthday page on the charity:water Web site with a target of $300. Alas, Rachel was able to raise only $220 — which had left her just a bit disappointed.
Then, on July 20, as Rachel was riding with her family on the highway, two trucks collided and created a 13-car pileup. Rachel’s car was hit by one of the trucks, and although the rest of her family was unhurt, Rachel was left critically injured.
Church members and friends, seeking some way of showing support, began donating on Rachel’s birthday page — charitywater.org/Rachel — and donations surged past her $300 goal, and kept mounting. As family and friends gathered around Rachel’s bedside, they were able to tell her — even not knowing whether she couldn’t hear them — that she had exceeded the $47,544 that the singer Justin Bieber had raised for charity:water on his 17th birthday.
“I think she secretly had a crush on him, but she would never admit it,” her mom said. “I think she would have been ecstatic.”
When it was clear that Rachel would never regain consciousness, the family decided to remove life support. Her parents donated her hair a final time to Locks of Love, and her organs to other children. Word spread about Rachel’s last fund-raiser.
Contributions poured in, often in $9 increments, although one 5-year-old girl sent in the savings in her piggy bank of $2.27. The total donations soon topped $100,000, then $300,000. Like others, I was moved and donated. As I write this, more than $850,000 has been raised from all over the world, including donations from Africans awed by a little American girl who cared about their continent.
“What has been so inspiring about Rachel is that she has taught the adults,” said Scott Harrison, the founder of charity:water. “Adults are humbled by the unselfishness of this little girl.”
Yet this is a story not just of one girl, but of a generation of young people working creatively to make this a better world. Mr. Harrison is emblematic of these young people. Now 35, he established charity:water when he was 30, and it has taken off partly because of his mastery at social media. (He’s not as experienced in well-drilling, so the wells are actually dug by expert groups like International Rescue Committee.)
Youth activism has a long history, but this ethos of public service is on the ascendant today — and today’s kids don’t just protest against injustices, as my contemporaries did, but many are also remarkable problem-solvers.
As for Ms. Paul, she’s planning a trip on the anniversary of her daughter’s death next year to see some of the wells being drilled in Africa in her daughter’s name. “It’ll be overwhelming to see Rachel’s wells,” she said, “to see what my 9-year-old daughter has done for people all over the world, to meet the people she has touched.”
Rachel Beckwith, R.I.P., and may our generation learn from yours.
•
I Apologize For Not Waiting For Tomorrow
It will certainly be more timely. Here is one of my favorite lines from Rodney Dangerfield:
I just came back from a pleasure trip. Just took my wife to the airport (bus stop, in my case).
I just came back from a pleasure trip. Just took my wife to the airport (bus stop, in my case).
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Dominican Parking
Monday, August 8, 2011
Great Line
Saw this on TV last night. A guy keeps referring to his second wife as "The Sequel". At one point he says to his friend that he can't understand why this second marriage didn't work out. His friend says, "Maybe if you didn't always call her The Sequel it might have worked out."
An Apology To All Of You Out There Not Reading This/Joachim Zahn
At various times I come up with incredibly clever ideas for this blog. Great jokes, stories from my past, current events observations, and job related tales. This post is one of them.
It is, however, the only one that I took the time to write down immediately upon thinking of it. Sometimes I think of something, and by the time I take out my Blackberry to make a note about it, I have forgotten it. It's a short term memory problem. I usually carry some paper with me. Sometimes I forget to take it with me. Those seem to be the times when I think of something clever.
And Yet:
Sometimes events of years ago come to mind. They seem to stay with me indefinitely. I was sitting next to one of my dealers, Suyeiki, early one evening and a Country and Western video came on. She said that she really liked the music a lot, but had no idea who was singing. I looked up at the screen and thought I saw that the singer's first name was Joachim. I went closer to the screen at the close of the video and saw that his name was actually Jason, but the Joachim name got me thinking. I started to remember back to the mid 60's. I used to hang out in a Preppie bar called Mike Malkan's. Mike was a whole other story, and a fascinating one at that. This: http://books.google.com/books?id=SsEBAAAAMBAJ&pg=PA42&lpg=PA42&dq=mike+malkan's&source=bl&ots=jqnHHXap21&sig=cJoA58h5Ucr5uzgX4MjAZfXvVtY&hl=en&ei=dCRATo-jJ8TV0QH5reCcBg&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1&ved=0CBYQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=mike%20malkan's&f=false will give you an idea.
I discovered Malkan's in the mid 60's. I used to go there every night, sometime to drink, but more importantly to socialize. It was an amazing place, filled with celebrities, mini celbrities and wannabes. I was considered a regular. One night one of the girls that I had gone out with, also a regular, introduced me to a new friend of hers. His name was Joachim Zahn. He lived in Germany and he was visiting for the summer. Joachim had a summer job working in the Mercedes Benz dealership in Fort Lee, New Jersey. This was right over the George Washington Bridge, about 25 minutes from midtown at non rush hours. He was quite handsome, spoke very good English and was a very pleasant kid. His only bad quality was that he insisted on telling everyone that his father was Chairman of the Board of Mercedes Benz. I would introduce him to friends and I would always say something like, "Joachim says his father is Chairman of the Board, although if I were in Germany I would probably tell people that my father was General Motors." I could live with his wanting to have people think he was something special. We went out on double dates many times. I was driving a Cadillac at the time. My father had always wanted one and finally he bought one. I'll never forget that he didn't want to spend too much on the car so it had no air conditioning. Joachim, working at the dealership, only had experience driving Mercedes, probably just around the parking lot. He was fascinated by my car and wanted to drive it. I knew that my father would kill me if he found out, but one night we made the switch. He drove the Cadillac and I drove a two door sportscar, that was later called the 450SL but I am not sure of the model number for that year. There were no problems and no incidents with the switch. I would often call him at work to make arrangements for the upcoming evening. They would answer the phone, Mercedes Benz Fort Lee, I would ask for Joachim Zahn and they would say, "Just a minute and then he would pick up. That is, until September. I called one day in September and ask for Joachim Zahn and the operator said, "Which one?" I said, "What do you mean which one? How many are there? The operator very politely explained that Joachim Zahn, the CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD OF MERCEDES BENZ, had come to visit with his son. With whom did I wish to speak?
End of story; I was went to dinner at the Plaza Hotel a couple of night later with both Joachim Zahns.
It is, however, the only one that I took the time to write down immediately upon thinking of it. Sometimes I think of something, and by the time I take out my Blackberry to make a note about it, I have forgotten it. It's a short term memory problem. I usually carry some paper with me. Sometimes I forget to take it with me. Those seem to be the times when I think of something clever.
And Yet:
Sometimes events of years ago come to mind. They seem to stay with me indefinitely. I was sitting next to one of my dealers, Suyeiki, early one evening and a Country and Western video came on. She said that she really liked the music a lot, but had no idea who was singing. I looked up at the screen and thought I saw that the singer's first name was Joachim. I went closer to the screen at the close of the video and saw that his name was actually Jason, but the Joachim name got me thinking. I started to remember back to the mid 60's. I used to hang out in a Preppie bar called Mike Malkan's. Mike was a whole other story, and a fascinating one at that. This: http://books.google.com/books?id=SsEBAAAAMBAJ&pg=PA42&lpg=PA42&dq=mike+malkan's&source=bl&ots=jqnHHXap21&sig=cJoA58h5Ucr5uzgX4MjAZfXvVtY&hl=en&ei=dCRATo-jJ8TV0QH5reCcBg&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1&ved=0CBYQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=mike%20malkan's&f=false will give you an idea.
I discovered Malkan's in the mid 60's. I used to go there every night, sometime to drink, but more importantly to socialize. It was an amazing place, filled with celebrities, mini celbrities and wannabes. I was considered a regular. One night one of the girls that I had gone out with, also a regular, introduced me to a new friend of hers. His name was Joachim Zahn. He lived in Germany and he was visiting for the summer. Joachim had a summer job working in the Mercedes Benz dealership in Fort Lee, New Jersey. This was right over the George Washington Bridge, about 25 minutes from midtown at non rush hours. He was quite handsome, spoke very good English and was a very pleasant kid. His only bad quality was that he insisted on telling everyone that his father was Chairman of the Board of Mercedes Benz. I would introduce him to friends and I would always say something like, "Joachim says his father is Chairman of the Board, although if I were in Germany I would probably tell people that my father was General Motors." I could live with his wanting to have people think he was something special. We went out on double dates many times. I was driving a Cadillac at the time. My father had always wanted one and finally he bought one. I'll never forget that he didn't want to spend too much on the car so it had no air conditioning. Joachim, working at the dealership, only had experience driving Mercedes, probably just around the parking lot. He was fascinated by my car and wanted to drive it. I knew that my father would kill me if he found out, but one night we made the switch. He drove the Cadillac and I drove a two door sportscar, that was later called the 450SL but I am not sure of the model number for that year. There were no problems and no incidents with the switch. I would often call him at work to make arrangements for the upcoming evening. They would answer the phone, Mercedes Benz Fort Lee, I would ask for Joachim Zahn and they would say, "Just a minute and then he would pick up. That is, until September. I called one day in September and ask for Joachim Zahn and the operator said, "Which one?" I said, "What do you mean which one? How many are there? The operator very politely explained that Joachim Zahn, the CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD OF MERCEDES BENZ, had come to visit with his son. With whom did I wish to speak?
End of story; I was went to dinner at the Plaza Hotel a couple of night later with both Joachim Zahns.
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