3 Penis Rule Update

I am pretty observant. I pride myself on it. I always tell people that as a Poker player I have learned to watch what people do. This applies to all facets of my life including going to take a leak in a public toilet. I specifically mention leak because there is no way in the world that I am going to do the OTHER THING in a public toilet. It would literally have to be coming out of me for me to consider sitting in a public bathroom to take a dump.
Anyway, working in a big casino like Hard Rock, I get to go to whizz a couple of times per night. I am just amazed at the number of people who's parents never taught them to wash their hands after using the bathroom. Tonight I realized that a builder could save a fortune by only putting in one sink for every 25 urinals and toilets. Even then there would never be a line to use the sink. Amazing.

Apropos the above, last weekend I was in Santo Domingo. I went to the Nacional Supermarket and had to use the bathroom. Above each urinal was a sign in Spanish that read, "the Lava manos (the wash hands...that's what they call sinks here) are only to wash your hands. Of course, there was some guy taking a full bath in one of the sinks. I have seen this more times than I care to remember. I actually know the sequence. Interestingly this rarely occurs after going to the bathroom. Some guy just enters the bathroom, starts to wash his face, shampoos his hair (with or without soap), takes off his tee shirt and washes his upper body. Mercifully I have never seen anyone take off his pants to finish off.

I Don't Know Where I Have Been, But I Might Be Back

Massiel and I had to go to pick up a ticket at the Santo Domingo Airport. There was a young guy there wearing a great tee shirt. It was brown with orange lettering that said, "I'm probably lying". I asked the guy where he got it and he didn't speak English. I knew right away he had no idea of what the shirt said and when I asked him, in Spanish, he said that he thought it had something to do with no problem. I told him what it said and he looked confused, like pissed or something. When I asked him again where he had gotten it he told me that it had been a gift from someone who had come to visit him from New York.

On Age

Working at the Hard Rock I am constantly in contact with music.
For many years I have told people that I am the oldest living Rock n' Roller.
Of course it's not true. Some of my favorites (The Rolling Stones,the surviving Beatles and others of that era are all a couple of years older than I am.
As I grew up I was always aware that there were an awful lot of people who knew nothing about Rock and Roll music.
What I didn' realize was that they were all older than me.
Now that I am one of the oldest people on earth I have had an amazing awakening.
I see all these dorky hotel guests, people who look as though the only song they know is "Happy Birthday" and they all consider themselves to be rockers.

New York Trip Report

Spent 5 days in New York and not once did I find myself thinking about someone else, "What a fucking moron".

My New Favorite Story

Leaving Santo Domingo on the way to Punta Cana you have to pay a toll. It costs 30 Pesos. They have exact change lanes of several different types.
One is for the Dominican version of Easy Pass. There are probably 25 people in the whole country that have it.
Then there are Exact Change lanes which have somone sitting there to make change for you so that you can go through.
Then there is a real Exact Change lanes. Apparently the rule is "have exact change or die"
This lane is located right next to the one where thay make change.
I'm in the exact change lane with about 8 cars behind me when the car in front of me gets to the toll machine and the driver realizes that he does not have the exact change. The passenger jumps out with a 100 peso bill and starts to walk to the next lane to get change from the person making change. The army person, stationed at the toll is busy talking with the "change" woman. When he sees the passenger walking towards him he tells her to get back in her car. When she explains that she needs change he menacingly lifts his rifle (just a little, but enough to get his message out) and tells her to get back in the car. He then insists that they back their car out of the toll, which is, of course, the most difficult of all possible solutions because now myself and the 8 other cars behind me all have to back up as well. He says that he doesn't care, BACK UP!!!
So I hop out of my car, give the 30 pesos to the driver and everyone goes about their business.

$5 Snapple

No thanks. Not that thirsty. I am flying to New York.
I am waiting here at the Punta Cana airport. I stopped at the food stand, picked a bottle of Snapple from the cooler.
The cashier told me $5. I told him no thank you.

Well at least it got me to post again.

it's Official

As of this coming Monday, February 7, I am really fucking old.

And I hate it.