I don't sleep well at night. To make it worse, most mornings I wake up early to take Massiel to work. I don't want to, but since I have to leave before she is done with work I can no longer let her take the car and that means she would have to take a concho, and that is a seriously horrible way to start your day. It's bad enough that she has to take one home. OK. No big deal. I get up. So then, after I get home from driving her and just as I am getting ready to fall asleep she calls and asks me to take something over to her grandmother's house. Her grandmother needed something in our refrigerator in order to make lunch, and how can I say no.
There is a bakery, Lumejor, that makes the best baked goods in the city. My favorite thing that they make is Pan Pizza. It is really fabulous. The problem is that they never have it. I stopped yesterday morning on my way to the airport and they had a whole pie in the display case. Foolishly I only bought one slice. Sometimes it is very good and other times it is absolutely fabulous. This time it was so good that I was immediately sorry that I had only bought one piece. When I passed by the bakery later, about 2:30 there was nothing left. After I dropped the food off, I stopped at the bakery to buy more. Again they didn't have any. That means for probably 20 hours they didn't have a product that they ALWAYS sell out of right away. I have spoken to the owner several times and asked why if they always sell out of this immediately, why don't they make more. He told me it was a good idea. Naturally nothing was done to change the policy. I was forced to go to another nearby bakery which is no where as good as Lumejor, but they make a chicken roll that is quite good (the Lumejor chicken roll is too greasy). I was waiting in line and some guy parked his motor bike right in front of the door, blocking it, came inside and proceeded to walk in front of myself and the other people waiting patiently for their turn. This happens all the time so I gave him my usual, "What am I, invisible?" greeting. Dominicans have this thing that they do when they either don't hear clearly or don't understand what you said. They twitch and wrinkle their noses like chipmonks. This is like asking "What?" only in a primitive sort of sign language. After he did that I made it clear that I and the others were waiting there before he came in and that he should wait his turn. He went to the back of the line. You see shit like that all the time. Someone encounters a line and they think nothing of just walking to the front of it. That is why I have my "invisible" question always at the ready. When my turn came I asked for the chicken roll to go. The girl tooke the roll, put it on a plate, and handed it to me. I said, "No, to go, with plastic wrap" and she was like, "what a great idea" and then she wrapped it and I left. Then when I got home and I called Massiel to told her that I had dropped off the package at her grandmother's the girl that answered the phone told me that she was in the kitchen, could I call back. Usually if Massiel is in the kitchen I can call her and she will answer her cell phone. She didn't answer so I texted her and again she didn't answer so I called back again and the same idiot answered the phone and told me that she was in the kitchen. I asked her to connect me to the kitchen and she asked me if I wanted to leave a message. I told her that I wanted her to put me through to the kitchen, something that has been done a thousand times and this time she did. It seemed as if it was too much for her to connect me the first 3 times I asked.
Doesn't seem like much does it? It isn't, but after a while it just wears you down.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Not The Brightest Bulb
So we are trying to get Massiel her residency. We needed an address to which we could mail her green card, if and when she gets it. Since we would probably go to visit my friend Jon in Alabama as our first trip to the US we decided to mail it there. I called him today and got his address. I called Massiel to give it to her.To protect Jon's privacy I have changed the address. I said to her, "Here is Jon's address":
Dr. Jonathan Friedman, 5643 Grand Forks Avenue, Mobile, Alabama, 33454
I had her read it back to me and she repeated everything back to me perfectly.
She called me back 5 minutes later and asked, "But, what is his name?"
Now here is the best part. I showed this to Massiel and he r response was,"Oh fuck. I spelled his name wrong".
Dr. Jonathan Friedman, 5643 Grand Forks Avenue, Mobile, Alabama, 33454
I had her read it back to me and she repeated everything back to me perfectly.
She called me back 5 minutes later and asked, "But, what is his name?"
Now here is the best part. I showed this to Massiel and he r response was,"Oh fuck. I spelled his name wrong".
Monday, November 22, 2010
New Work Rules
When you enter the bathroom, if you must, be careful. Only pee. Don't even think about taking a dump. That is out of the question. If you must pee,only pee in a toilet that is open. Never, ever, ever open a toilet seat. Pee in your pants before you open up a toilet cover. You never want to see what's in there.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Sports Update
Today's Standings in the Dominican Winter League
Team W-L Avg. Diff.
AZUCAREROS 14 - 10 .714 --
ESTRELLAS 14 - 10 .714 --
ESCOGIDO 14 - 8 .571 2.0
LICEY 15 - 6 .400 4.5
AGUILAS 15 - 5 .333 5.5
GIGANTES 14 - 4 .286 6.0
They can play baseball, but they sure can't do the math.
Team W-L Avg. Diff.
AZUCAREROS 14 - 10 .714 --
ESTRELLAS 14 - 10 .714 --
ESCOGIDO 14 - 8 .571 2.0
LICEY 15 - 6 .400 4.5
AGUILAS 15 - 5 .333 5.5
GIGANTES 14 - 4 .286 6.0
They can play baseball, but they sure can't do the math.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
The REAL Quote Of The Trip From Jon
"I have become everything that I always said that I wanted people to shoot me if I became."
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Trip Report
On the 14th of this month I left Santiago to visit with a childhood friend. Jon and I have been friends for about 55 years. We met briefly in Hebrew school. In the 9th grade (1959-1960)I transferred to Horace Mann, a private school in NYC, and Jon and I have been good friends ever since.
My flight left Santiago at 8:30 for Miami. We got in at 10:30 and then I had a NINE HOUR layover until my next flight. The walk from where my plane landed to the customs station felt like it took 30 minutes, but definitely took at least 10, although I am sure it was more. And don't forget, I walk at the pace of a New Yorker (quickly).
My first observation was of the price of chewing gum at the airport. I don't know if it was some sort of special product but it was $2.19. That is an amazing price.
I was surprised that some people with a lot of luggage were using the old "wheelchair" trick to allow them to go to the head of the line at customs if they had a lot of luggage. That is a refinement of the "I need a wheelchair to get on the plane trick" which is used just to get to be allowed to enter the plane before everyone else.
With all that time to kill I decided not to go to a nearby casino to lose what little money I had, but rather to head out to a nearby discount mall in order to spend it on things that I can't get here, like candy and nice clothing cheaply priced. When I asked at the information booth I was told that the mall was 5 minutes from the airport. Coming back to the airport the trip took about 8 minutes, maybe a little less. What the woman at the information booth neglected to tell me is that the shuttle bus stops at every hotel on the way to the mall and that getting there takes almost 40 minutes.
After walking through about 1/3 of the mall and making a few purchases I came to the food court. I was hungry, so the timing was great. In looking around my first thought was that I was going to have a tough time deciding where to eat. That is until I saw that there was a girl handing out samples of the Teryaki chicken at the first stand. As I was sampling this I realized that there was someone at virtually every stand, either in front of or behind the counter, trying to entice you to eat there by giving you a free sample. It didn't take long to decide where I was going to eat. I ate every free sample that was given and finished the food court absolutely full. The should change the name to "The Free Food Court".
After about an hour and a half of walking around shopping I was starting to get a little tired. As luck would have it I came across some massage chairs. I think it was $2 for 5 minutes. I figured I would try it. Wow. What a great massage. Hard to believe that a machine could give that satisfying a massage, but these chairs were great.
One of the things that really struck me after a while is that NOBODY in the mall spoke English. Everyone spoke Spanish. I was amazed.
For those of you who watch "The Jersey Shore" 1/2 the young girls in the mall made every effort to look like Snooki.
I asked a man a question and he answered in a very not Spanish accent, "Excuse, please, I don't talk English". Doesn't anybody in Miami speak English?
When I got back to the airport, as soon as I started to look for my next flight, I realized I was fucked. When the overhead sign says "Gates 1-60 and you are leaving from 60, you know you are screwed. After walking part of the way I decided to take the Sky Train, a monorail that goes to all of the American's gates. The best part is that when I finally got near to gate 60 I realized that it was down a flight of stairs at the end of the row of gates and when they call your plane you go out through a door and they PUT YOU ON A BUS to the plane. Of course, the first plane we got on was having problems, so we had to change to another plane, again getting there by bus.
Having lived in the DR for 11 years one of the things that really struck me was the condition of every public bathroom I entered (and with my prostate problem, trust me, I entered a lot). They were all spotless. Every stall had a seat (amazing), every sink had soap and paper towels and/or really efficient hand blowers, and they all had baby changing tables. One bathroom "complex" had a Men's room, a Women's bathroom and a Family Bathroom. What the hell is a Family bathroom?
I had a wonderful time with Jon and his wife Betty. They were as hospitable as possible. Jon and I spent most of the time just talking. Amazingly with all the history we had there were no, "do you remember when.....? stories, or "how about the time.... anecdotes. Mostly current events both personal and worldwide. There was nothing unusual in that, Jon and I have always had an up to date conversation pattern. We spent quite a most of our time at his beautiful beach house, near Pensacola. Jon is in love with his really fast, really beautiful speedboat and we went riding a couple of times, including one trip to a seafood store that was a pretty long ride by boat. This store had the largest selection of fish and shellfish that I have ever seen. There was a huge assortment of prepared foods as well, and we ate what we bought there for a couple of days. Friday I went to the Walmart store and Ihad a ball. I love Walmart. I miss Walmart. On Sunday we drove to his house in Mobile, and along the way we stopped at another discount mall. I love discount malls. I miss discount malls. We spent the rest of the day watching football. I had a wonderful time. My favorite quote from Jon came when we were talking about something involving California and Jon referred to the people living there as "Those yogurt eating cocksuckers". Pure Jon.
The trip back included a layover of only 3 hours. Piece of cake. The airport at Pensacola was filled with a bunch of religious nuts. I overheard this conversation more than once: "How are you? Fine, how are you? I am blessed.
The stewardess dropped the bag of ice on the floor and all drinks were served at room temperature. It didn't matter to me because when I am traveling, I try to drink as little as possible, but some people were really pissed.
When we got off in Miami I had time to kill so I decided to walk from my arrival gate (#59) to my departure gate (#7). I took a leisurely stroll and once I was smart enough to pay for a cart to carry the 30 pound bag I was carrying it was a pleasure. It took 50 minutes.
My last impression of the US was provided by a young couple with a child waiting for their flight with a stroller. On both sides of the stroller they had afixed Latte holders.
I had a great time.
My flight left Santiago at 8:30 for Miami. We got in at 10:30 and then I had a NINE HOUR layover until my next flight. The walk from where my plane landed to the customs station felt like it took 30 minutes, but definitely took at least 10, although I am sure it was more. And don't forget, I walk at the pace of a New Yorker (quickly).
My first observation was of the price of chewing gum at the airport. I don't know if it was some sort of special product but it was $2.19. That is an amazing price.
I was surprised that some people with a lot of luggage were using the old "wheelchair" trick to allow them to go to the head of the line at customs if they had a lot of luggage. That is a refinement of the "I need a wheelchair to get on the plane trick" which is used just to get to be allowed to enter the plane before everyone else.
With all that time to kill I decided not to go to a nearby casino to lose what little money I had, but rather to head out to a nearby discount mall in order to spend it on things that I can't get here, like candy and nice clothing cheaply priced. When I asked at the information booth I was told that the mall was 5 minutes from the airport. Coming back to the airport the trip took about 8 minutes, maybe a little less. What the woman at the information booth neglected to tell me is that the shuttle bus stops at every hotel on the way to the mall and that getting there takes almost 40 minutes.
After walking through about 1/3 of the mall and making a few purchases I came to the food court. I was hungry, so the timing was great. In looking around my first thought was that I was going to have a tough time deciding where to eat. That is until I saw that there was a girl handing out samples of the Teryaki chicken at the first stand. As I was sampling this I realized that there was someone at virtually every stand, either in front of or behind the counter, trying to entice you to eat there by giving you a free sample. It didn't take long to decide where I was going to eat. I ate every free sample that was given and finished the food court absolutely full. The should change the name to "The Free Food Court".
After about an hour and a half of walking around shopping I was starting to get a little tired. As luck would have it I came across some massage chairs. I think it was $2 for 5 minutes. I figured I would try it. Wow. What a great massage. Hard to believe that a machine could give that satisfying a massage, but these chairs were great.
One of the things that really struck me after a while is that NOBODY in the mall spoke English. Everyone spoke Spanish. I was amazed.
For those of you who watch "The Jersey Shore" 1/2 the young girls in the mall made every effort to look like Snooki.
I asked a man a question and he answered in a very not Spanish accent, "Excuse, please, I don't talk English". Doesn't anybody in Miami speak English?
When I got back to the airport, as soon as I started to look for my next flight, I realized I was fucked. When the overhead sign says "Gates 1-60 and you are leaving from 60, you know you are screwed. After walking part of the way I decided to take the Sky Train, a monorail that goes to all of the American's gates. The best part is that when I finally got near to gate 60 I realized that it was down a flight of stairs at the end of the row of gates and when they call your plane you go out through a door and they PUT YOU ON A BUS to the plane. Of course, the first plane we got on was having problems, so we had to change to another plane, again getting there by bus.
Having lived in the DR for 11 years one of the things that really struck me was the condition of every public bathroom I entered (and with my prostate problem, trust me, I entered a lot). They were all spotless. Every stall had a seat (amazing), every sink had soap and paper towels and/or really efficient hand blowers, and they all had baby changing tables. One bathroom "complex" had a Men's room, a Women's bathroom and a Family Bathroom. What the hell is a Family bathroom?
I had a wonderful time with Jon and his wife Betty. They were as hospitable as possible. Jon and I spent most of the time just talking. Amazingly with all the history we had there were no, "do you remember when.....? stories, or "how about the time.... anecdotes. Mostly current events both personal and worldwide. There was nothing unusual in that, Jon and I have always had an up to date conversation pattern. We spent quite a most of our time at his beautiful beach house, near Pensacola. Jon is in love with his really fast, really beautiful speedboat and we went riding a couple of times, including one trip to a seafood store that was a pretty long ride by boat. This store had the largest selection of fish and shellfish that I have ever seen. There was a huge assortment of prepared foods as well, and we ate what we bought there for a couple of days. Friday I went to the Walmart store and Ihad a ball. I love Walmart. I miss Walmart. On Sunday we drove to his house in Mobile, and along the way we stopped at another discount mall. I love discount malls. I miss discount malls. We spent the rest of the day watching football. I had a wonderful time. My favorite quote from Jon came when we were talking about something involving California and Jon referred to the people living there as "Those yogurt eating cocksuckers". Pure Jon.
The trip back included a layover of only 3 hours. Piece of cake. The airport at Pensacola was filled with a bunch of religious nuts. I overheard this conversation more than once: "How are you? Fine, how are you? I am blessed.
The stewardess dropped the bag of ice on the floor and all drinks were served at room temperature. It didn't matter to me because when I am traveling, I try to drink as little as possible, but some people were really pissed.
When we got off in Miami I had time to kill so I decided to walk from my arrival gate (#59) to my departure gate (#7). I took a leisurely stroll and once I was smart enough to pay for a cart to carry the 30 pound bag I was carrying it was a pleasure. It took 50 minutes.
My last impression of the US was provided by a young couple with a child waiting for their flight with a stroller. On both sides of the stroller they had afixed Latte holders.
I had a great time.
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