Thanks, Jesse

    
     About 4 months ago I started walking for a couple of reasons; my weight, my heart health and my general well being. I have discovered the tricks of walking in South Florida (I'm not talking about Miami) and the most important of them is to not walk when the sun is too high in the sky. You need the shade that one side of the street provides, otherwise it is like walking on the sun, not in the sun.
     I have today off and I figured that I could get my walking in early, while the sun was still not too high and before the bugs come out (I always keep a spray can of Off Deep Woods Spray in my pocket). As I began my walk I realized that there are some things that I always notice as I walk and that lead me to want to chronicle them, however, I couldn't think of where to post the list. All of a sudden it dawned on me that I used to blog. Why not post it here. Nobody will read it but at least it is here for posterity. As I continued my walk, I realized that there were more things about Southern Florida worth noting that I observe at all kinds of times, not just walking. That's the introduction. Here is the list:

Southern Florida

There is always the sound of, or actual appearance of lawn mowers

The sound of leaf blowers

Publix (best supermarket in the world)

Friendly people

Old men driving fancy sports cars, that I guess their wives would not let them buy before

The heat

The rain


Lizards, lots of lizards

Jeeps with very big wheels and very loud mufflers

Bugs

Tattoos

     The title of this blog entry is to thank Jesse Walker. We were talking the other day about my frustration about wanting to be a writer, but never really having a story to tell. I completely forgot, until todays walk, that I used to write this blog. I finished my two miles, cooled off for a couple of minutes and sat down and wrote this entry. I think that I have plenty more small observations to note or short anecdotes to tell and now that I remember that I have this blog (I hope I don't forget again) I have a place to put them.  So again, thanks Jesse.



Funny, You Don't Look Jewish

I had a family come in today to buy a new car. I helped them choose the right car for them and they then had to work out the final deal with the Finance Manager. Unfortunately, they had to wait several hours to see him. While they were waiting I entertained them with some card tricks and a few stories. The little girl, Sarah, was adorable. She will be eight next week and was the best audience that I have had for a while. She kept asking if I were magic. I'm not quite sure what that meant, but I guess she thought that there was something magical about me. I knew that waiting all that time most have given them an appetite. I always keep snacks in my drawers, things like trail mix and popcorn, and sometimes brownies.  They are for me, but I never mind sharing them. I asked the mother if it would be OK to give the kids some and she said sure. I pulled out my snacks and offered to them, and the two kids were quite happy. Sarah started to eat the popcorn, turned to her mother and said, "You know, when I eat popcorn I always feel so Jewish. We all went crazy laughing.

                                                                             Sarah

Where have I been, you ask?

That's for a later post.

This post should actually be entitled, "Tales from the Sales Floor", and I have a feeling that there will be more to follow that should have the same title, however for now I will just have to settle for this first post in a long time.

Car sales people, of which I am now one, have a well deserved reputation. For example a customer walked in today and I walked up to greet him. The customer said that he had bought two cars at this dealership from a salesmanager, who's name he didn't remember. He described him as a heavy set black man and since the managers here are all white, I explained to him that even though I was new, I was prettys sure that he didn't work here anymore. As I was saying this another salesman comes walking over, hears the conversation and when I ask him about the sales manager, he names him and then turns to the customer and says, "I remember you, we worked together before." The customer said, "No, I never saw you before". The other salesman asked, "You have a Jaguar don't you", as if to prove he remembered the customer. The customer said, "Yeah, I just drove up in it." Of course he did, how else would the other salesman know?

It's Been A While, I Know

Brandon

Hard To Fucking Believe

I am 68 years old. I don't feel 68 years old. I don't believe that I think or act as if I am 68 years old, but I am. Sometimes I am so in disbelief of my age that I take out my IPhone, go to the camera and reverse the view so that I can look at myself on the camera screen. It's still hard to believe.

It's Been A While, I Know

New favorite name...Hugh Jasol

The Russians Are Coming, The Russians Are Coming

My sense of smell has disappeared. It affects my sense of taste and that is why I like chocolate and other sweets so much. I can taste them. To be honest, I don't think that I have smelled one of my farts for the past 5 years, maybe more. When I take a dump it has to be something really special before I know about it.

Tonight there was a Russian player in the Poker Room who smelled so horribly that I could smell him. The players were made crazy by his foul odor. People kept moving to any open seat at his table to avoid having to sit next to him. As Juan, the regular Poker Room cashier once said, while surrounded by Russians, "Deodorant must be very expensive in Russia."

How Far We Have Come

 I am watching the Rolling Stone's movie Crossfire Hurricane. It traces the Rolling Stones from their very beginning. At one point the song "Let's Spend the Night Together is playing in the background. It brought back an interesting memory. I should first mention how I am always astounded by the language that we hear on TV these days. People talking about what balls someone has, using the word ass, and many other things. I remembered how when the Stones wanted to sing this song, and I am guessing it was during an appearance on the Ed Sullivan Show, the were not permitted to sing the title as it was. The idea of two people spending the night together was too sinful for public airing on TV. They were forced to change the lyrics to "Let's spend some time together". If they appeared today to sing the song I wouldn't be surprised to hear "Let's Fuck".

RTL

When you are explaining something to someone when they respond with something that sounds like, "Ahhhh, okay, okay" that means that they have no idea what you are talking about. Not only that, it also means that they want you to stop talking.

The Boys

 

These are The Boys. That is Harry on the left and QD on the right. QD eats to live and Harry lives to eat. Neither of them are what you would call sveldt. Harry is always hungry, and QD, not wanting to be unsociable always eats with him, although never as much. Our computer sits on a table in the living room that also has QD's basket on top. Normally, if I am on the computer, QD is in his basket, watching me.

 

Best Line Of The Evening

It used to be if you wanted to see a woman's ass you had to open her panties. Now,if you want to see a woman's panties you have to open her ass.

RTL

RTL

Most of the time, since no business thinks its important to make sure that they have enough coins in the cash register, you get Chicklets instead of coins for your change.

RTL

No one says, "Please" or "Thank You".

Nobody knows to cover their mouths when they yawn. When someone does yawn you get an amazing view of their dental work and tonsils.

Reasons To Leave

People who don't hold the door for you.

People who don't know to say, "Thank You", when you hold the door for them.

Quick Note

If you are watching a performer or a group and someone says either, "Put your hands up" or "Make some noise", you know right away that there will be very little music involved.

My Son, Brandon

 

Brandon was born on November 3, 2012

 

He is a sweet little boy.

 

 

Reasons to Leave

I made an offensive joke a long time ago that started, "Why do Dominicans always drive with their bright lights on? Because they have them. Why do Dominicans always honk their horns while driving? Because they have them." I won't finish the joke now.

I Thought I Was Done Blogging, BUT......

I haven't written anything here in about 6 months. Periodically I think about posting and then it just goes by the boards. I was in Santiago this week and while there I met with two friends. One, Evan is a guy I met about 8 years ago. He owns an English language school in Santiago. Evan has always been talking about leaving the DR, but his business kept him here, although he was gone for long periods. When we met he told me that this time it was for sure that he was not coming back. He is leaving the school in the hands of two trusted employees and he will "monitor" the business from the US.  The other friend, Sal, has been my best friend for the past 36 years. Sal was my business partner and he is my daughter's Godfather. Sal was the first to suggest that I might find the DR to my liking. He has been working here for almost the last 20 years. He, too, is leaving the DR forever. For the past 5 years he has been commuting to the DR spending 10 days here and 4 days at home, which is an amazing amount of travel.

Both Evan and Sal have basically the same reason for leaving. They just can't handle the people here anymore. They can't handle the lack of consideration,ignorance, and rudeness of the Dominicans, just to name a few reasons. No matter how the reason is expressed, it all comes back to the people. They both have met and become friendly with some of the few wonderful Dominicans, but for the most part they just can't handle it any more. The only difference between them and me is that they can leave. I can't.

So I decided while driving back to Bavaro that I would start to chronicle the many things that the three of us find so offsetting. I figured that maybe I would just make a quick entry and run. For example, I might just post under the title Reasons to Leave. In fact that's what I am going to do. I will start with my next post, right now.